Twisting Canon
by borgprincess
Summary: Different timelines from the various seasons clash as characters are warped, altered and meet themselves...it's been cleaned up a little since I first published it, so review and tell me what you think!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part One**

_7h Year DQ-Future_

Black…black…and yet more black. There was absolutely nothing out there, one knew that, yet the mind staggers at the thought of that _nothingness_, it cannot comprehend the magnitude of that fact, cannot understand how unbelievably barren and empty it was out there.

And so it set out to trick itself. Upon throwing a casual glance, one might catch a gleam of light; there for a tantalising second but vanishing the instant one rushes to pinpoint it. The harder the stare, the darker the space seems- til another whisper of light brushes teasingly at the corner of one's sight. Slowly, slowly, turning eyes ever so carefully to the side and-

Gone. That faint hope that perhaps something is finally there to fill at least one small part of that nothingness crushed, before it ever had the chance to fully flower. A heartbeat, maybe two, stutters in excitement before reality settles in.

There is only the Void.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part One cont.**

_Captain Janeway- Personal Log:_

The Delta Quadrant. Just the name makes it sound so far from our native Alpha Quadrant. Looking outside at the alien stars and systems we pass…it continually reminds me that we are such a long way from home. Each and every new species we encounter, the aggressive and the peaceful, each new anomaly we pass, whether dangerous or harmless, every passing hour, whether at red alert in the middle of yet another battle or just cruising by, it all reminds me how far away we are, how alone…

I've been thinking about my actions again. The decision that stranded over a hundred people in a hostile quadrant, that condemned a little girl to grow up in continual danger, how I have separated families, stalled careers and, worst of all- I have cost so many people their lives…and then there are the actions I took when we met the Equinox crew.

I still can't believe how I acted. There is no excuse for my behaviour. The worst thing is that I'm not sure that I would have stopped in time; I'm not sure if I would have killed _him_ or not. And Chakotay- god, the way I treated him. I used to listen to people; I was a reasonable person, not so arrogant and self-righteous.

Oh, of course I was given to the occasional impulsive decision, acting on instinct and gut feeling alone, and to listen to Tuvok, an acquaintance of many years and who I've been through much with, I was the sort of person who thrived on danger and the unknown, took countless risks and reckless action. He did actually described me as _reckless_, once.

But I thought that I was above all, a rational sort of person, sensible, not the type to threaten to kill a man. Noah Lessing admittedly had committed unforgivable offences, but I had no right to judge him, no right to think I was so much better than him. My hypocrisy is excruciatingly clear, given how low I stooped when dealing with him, especially when considering that with a different course of events, I could have been in his position, may have done what I condemned him for. But- it all seems so unreal, even now in hindsight; I still can't imagine what I thought I was doing.

But I think I know the cause. It's this journey of ours, the unremittent dangers we face, the difficult decisions that I must make and the burden of command with no other authority to turn to. Of course, that I would eventually become a power unto myself. But the Prime Directive…the principles I once held so dear- now tainted, abandoned for the sake of expedience; as long as the ends were acceptable, _any_ means were justifiable.

In blunt terms, absolute power corrupts absolutely, isn't that right?

What I did was wrong, and selfish, all the choices I've made since arriving here six years ago, short-sighted, egocentric. I've become a sick, twisted parody of who I was before. I used to look in the mirror and, while not always smiling, perhaps a little heartsore after the beating both physical and mental I and _Voyager_ had taken that day, be at least content that I had done the right thing, that I had a clear conscience.

Now I can't.

I look in the mirror and I can't stand to see myself. The Delta Quadrant has altered me beyond recognition; making me insane, that I would ignore recommendations from my own senior staff, unforgivably threaten a man and place him in physical danger to suitably intimidate him, throw my First Officer in the brig for _disagreeing_ with me- my god. What have I become?

…

End log.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part One cont.**

It was almost like a dare. Looking out and seeing the glorious evidence of her stupidity, hour after hour, day after day, soon to stretch into months and years…it was enough to thoroughly crush her spirit. Or whatever little of it remained after all the trials the Delta Quadrant had thrown at her.

Janeway's lips curled derisively as she steadfastly stared out into the expanse of darkness, barely blinking. _The _Borg_ would be preferable to this_, she thought. _Just some light entertainment, a battle of the minds with the Borg Queen would alleviate some boredom, after all. For a while, anyway._ She could face an entire fleet of Borg, Kazon, Hirogen, whatever the universe decided to _gift_ her with…and they were all preferable to this Void.

She sighed. What was she really trying to prove anyway? Wrenching her eyes away from the blackness outside, she dragged her body to the bathroom, where she half-heartedly freshened herself. Janeway suddenly felt old and weary, a hundred times her age, at least.

Looking at her reflection was even more disheartening. The numb figure staring back at her seemed to bear quite a resemblance to that barren expanse of space only a few scant metres away, though held back by resolute forcefields. The Void, by definition, was utterly devoid of life in any form that they could discern, and it formed the main component of the next few years of their journey. It mirrored her eyes which had once reflected a vivacity and zest for life, an innate curiosity and insatiable need to _know_ and understand anything and everything around her…now gone.

The tired woman lifted a hand to touch the gaunt face her mirror showed her, touching the harsh angles and lines that had not existed before. It seemed that of all she had faced so far in their journey, trying to make their way back to the Alpha Quadrant and facing obstacles that stood in their way, this subdued sojourn had cost her far more than she had ever had to give.

_It's so empty, it leaves me with nothing. Nothing to do, nothing to fight- I wish something here would just fight us, damnit, make me feel_ _anything other than weighed down by suffocating burdens I can't escape from, even in my _own mind_…_She was trapped in an endless cycle of self-recrimination, doomed to repeat it over and over. The Void seemed likely to sap the last remnants of herself that she possessed, and Janeway was hard pressed to think of a way to stop it- or even conjure up the desire to stop it.

_Maybe it's purgatory, where I must repent for all the pain I've caused. The pain of all the lives I've doomed by my actions, and of all the lives that will be affected by my selfishness-_ she clenched her fists, fingernails biting into her skin. This was old territory and Janeway was beginning to hate this mental treadmill, revisiting the same old doubts and worries and fears over and over and over again.

"Damn the Void anyway!" she slammed a fist into the mirror. It felt surprisingly good; that pain let her feel something and that was more than she'd had in a while. Janeway punched the mirror again- and again- and yet again, losing herself in the fury of the moment til she had succeeded in her goal and the last of the shards of glass fell, tinkling softly as they piled up, blood starting to trickle from her cuts.

She raised her hands for inspection, actually a little shocked at the violence of her behaviour. _This Quadrant really is changing me. Just imagine what Starfleet would think. _But she couldn't really summon up any energy to feel…what, shocked, embarrassed, or anything much. As quickly as her anger had been to ignite, it nowevaporated, gone without a trace, leaving her as empty and alone as before.

Or maybe not as alone as she had thought. Janeway sensed a presence near her, in her quarters. _Chakotay_, she realised. _He must have heard the noise. Well, that's a wonder. How is it I haven't totally alienated him with my bouts of self-pity and despair?_

And now he was in there, probably to ask if she were all right- _what a stupid question, why do people always ask when the answer is blindingly obvious? _- and if he could do anything to help, he would tell her that he was there for her and she could talk to him anytime when her burdens were too heavy to shoulder and she needed comfort.

Then again, he might pick up from earlier and tell her again that now was not the time to isolate herself and that the crew needed her to be there for them- _haven't I done enough for them, haven't I bent over backwards to please them for the past five years? _- and she should probably involve herself more with what was going on around her.

"Kathryn," he said from behind her, startling her with his nearness. "I heard something- what the hell happened?" he demanded, picking up her limp hands with a gentleness that belied his clear anger, examining her injuries.

"I smashed my mirror," Janeway said simply, emotionlessly.

He looked dryly at the glass on the floor. "I can see that. But why?"

"I wanted to," she said without heat, and not really explaining, uncertain of how to explain the sudden emotional outburst that had translated into the physical attack on her mirror. Not sure which words to use to describe the torrent of anger and frustration that had thoroughly jolted her and moved her to swift action. Unable to phrase exactly what impulse had compelled her to appease it with the destruction of something, anything, around her. And so she remained silent after that one small sentence.

Chakotay, too, remained silent, and the two of them stood there, frozen in a tableau. She swallowed, hands tightening around his. He felt so real…Janeway opened her mouth to say something, speak of the grief and anguish she felt, but then was interrupted by the sudden jerk and shudder as _Voyager_ came to a halt.

"What the hell is going on now?" Janeway asked, looking away for a moment in annoyance. Her fingers grasped air, and when she looked back, eyes wide in dismay, Chakotay was gone as silently as he had appeared. "Chakotay…" Her face set in grim lines and she made her way out, alone, to find exactly what disaster had befallen her ship now.

The doors slid shut on an empty room.

"All right, people, what's the current situation?" Janeway demanded.

"I've managed to hook a power cell up directly to the EPS manifold to get emergency power back online," Torres reported. "When that alien dampening field kicked off a shipwide power loss, which I'm sure you all noticed, it knocked _everything_ offline, including main and auxiliary power, and only independent subsystems were left operational; environmental controls, life support, thank goodness, and holodecks," she rolled her eyes at Paris. "Although now the hologrid in Holodeck 1 has blown out, thanks to flyboy and the Doctor. Anyhow, those secondary systems are just going to have to wait for now, til we have time to spare to look at them properly."

"From too much time to too little," Paris muttered. Janeway turned cold eyes on him. "Uh, I'm fine too, Captain," he hastily covered up. "Burns all gone."

She nodded, turning to look at the screen that currently displayed a feed from Sickbay, enabling the hologram who functioned as the ship's CMO to participate in the meeting. "Doctor?"

"The alien is still unconscious, though it should be regaining consciousness shortly."

"Fine. I want to know the minute it's awake- I have a few questions for it," Janeway said grimly.

"Why did the aliens and those three other ships flee? They had the upper hand," Harry Kim asked, confused.

"They may be photosensitive," Seven spoke up. "After all, one must adapt to survive, and living in a starless region such as this, their physiology must have evolved to allow them to survive in this complete darkness."

"That makes sense. But I'm less interested in their physiology than in the reason for their unprovoked attack on us."

"Captain?" The Doctor interrupted. "The alien is awake."

Eyebrows raised, Janeway dismissed her staff as she headed down to Sickbay with him to get some answers.

The Doctor intercepted her as she made for the alien. "Captain, I just thought I should let you know, he has high levels of theta radiation poisoning. Given my lack of knowledge about his species, I'm not certain whether it's fatal, but tread softly."

Janeway nodded. "Now," she said, crossing her arms as she studied the alien. "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship _Voyager_. I'm interested in exactly why your people wanted to fire on us?"

"It was a mistake," the alien explained. "We could not know that you were _new_ strangers; we thought you were the _other one_." Dislike was emphasized on the last words.

"The 'other one'?" Janeway said sceptically.

"I am dying," the alien said coldly, sensing that scepticism. "We were living a peaceful existence here, no others to fight with us over territory, few ships pass through to disrupt our life- then this Malon character comes and starts polluting our home! We are all suffering from the poisonous quality of his chemicals!"

Janeway remained silent for a few moments, thinking it through.

"Sensors did pick up high levels of theta radiation," she murmured. "This Malon must be using the- 'Void' as a dumping ground for antimatter waste."

There was anger growing inside her. The Federation had worked to make sure that warp would not destroy space when they had realized the effect of warp engines, designing ships with this problem in mind; _Voyager_ herself possessed a transkinetic chamber that processed the residual antimatter, breaking it down on a subatomic level.

Such irresponsibility, to wantonly pollute another being's environment, regardless of the consequences to its health and lifestyle- it was abhorrent to her, and she itched to get her hands on the person who had perpetrated the current state of affairs. But one thing puzzled her about it all. How was this person dumping waste here? One would hardly travel out a few years in order to transport antimatter reactants.

Putting the question to the alien, she was elated by the answer, "There is a spatial vortex nearby. We know it is what Malon uses as means to pollute us; however, we have no means of sabotaging it. I realize our relations have not starting out promisingly, but you must see how wrong this is. We do not have resources with which to defend ourselves, but perhaps you do- and I beg you not to hold this incident against our entire race, because if you do nothing, we are all doomed. Captain," he finished with a desperate plea, "help us."

Janeway nodded. "I promise you, I will do whatever is necessary."

The alien sank back down on the bio-bed. "Thank you."

She shrugged it off. "We need you to contact your people, let them know we're not a threat and that we're going to help. Do you feel up to it?" The alien nodded. "Very well. Doctor," she nodded at him, passing the buck.

"Where are you going?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow at his task, one that he, as a physician, was rarely called upon to perform.

"I'll be in Astrometrics."

A plan was slowly forming in her mind, one that would save the Void aliens and also enable her to pay the price for her actions. It was, as Seven would say, efficient. A grim smile of satisfaction appeared, as she entered the turbolift

As she made preparations, a voice came over her commbadge in the stilted tones of her Vulcan officer. "Captain, we have transported the alien to his people following resolution of the mistaken hostilities between our ships. They are returning to their homeworld."

"Acknowledged," she murmured, absorbed in finetuning her plans. "Keep me informed on our progress to the Vortex."

"Understood. Tuvok out."

Janeway returned to the task at hand: readying a class-2 shuttle armed with photon explosives. She needed rations, medical supplies; things that would help her survive the solitary two-year sojourn through the Void.

"Kathryn?" a voice spoke up from her side. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Someone has to destroy the vortex from this side."

"But you're the Captain," the shock was clear in his voice.

_For all the good that does me. I'm so tired of being the Captain and nothing else…_ "It seems the only choice. I'm not ordering someone else to do what I'm not willing to do myself. It's too much to ask."

"It's too much to ask of anyone," he argued. "There has to be another way. Don't do anything rash just yet."

"Really, Chakotay," there was warmth in her voice as she asked him, "Have you _ever_ known me to be rash?"

"Quite often, actually," he grinned at her.

Smiling back, for a moment she considered backing out of her decision. The ship needed a captain, did it not? _No, that is just cowardice speaking_, she told herself firmly. A captain had not done her job properly if she were irreplaceable- the crew had been trained to function even in the event of the command team's demise. And if anyone experienced some personal sorrow over her death, unlikely as that might be… _well, they would adapt_.

"I have to do this," Janeway said resolutely. "There's not that much for me to live for, anymore. Not since…" she broke off, unwilling to think of that incident.

Just as the Wicked Stepmother in 'Snow White' had resolved, in the end, to do the deed herself, so would she. Of course, where the woman in the fairy tale had failed, she would succeed, because life wasn't dictated by whimsical morals or equality or fairness. In real life, Snow White would have died, Prince Charming would have fallen in love with some blonde bimbo and the Seven Dwarves would have been persecuted for their abnormalities. The Wicked Stepmother would have triumphed and the kingdom would have gone to hell in a hand basket. A wry grin flashed across her face at her lapse into the memory of an ancient fairytale before she reapplied herself to the necessary preparation.

On the bridge, Harry Kim was puzzled by odd readings from his console.

"Commander," he said hesitantly, trying to maintain his balance as the vortex jostled _Voyager_ around, working a moment longer at his station to verify what he was seeing.

"What is it, Ensign?" Tuvok asked from the command section of the bridge.

"The shuttle bay doors are open… and there is no record of the order being issued."

"There should be a record," Tuvok said, tapping an order into his console before raising an eyebrow. "You are correct. Odd."

"Gee, thanks," the ensign muttered under his breath, though not out of the Vulcan's superior hearing range.

Tuvok refrained from replying, recognizing from long association with humans that the statement was not intended as anything other than mere rhetoric.

"Hey, Tuvok," Kim added on a more professional note. "I'm picking up a shuttle out there."

"Onscreen," Tuvok studied the class-2 shuttle with concern. "Lifesigns?"

"One- it's the Captain!"

The Vulcan stood. "Hail her."

Kim tapped the controls. "She's not responding. And- I can't get a lock on her. The tractor beam is offline."

Ahead of _Voyager_, as the ride grew bumpier and bumpier, pinpricks of light could be seen, stars after so many weeks in the darkness…

Tom Paris had not been liking what he was hearing, but he kept more of his attention on his flying. He didn't want _Voyager_ to end up splattered on the sides of the Vortex. Finally, the bumpy ride was over and he could confront the situation. "All right, Tuvok, we're safely out of the Void, now what the hell is going on?" Paris swivelled to look at his First Officer, who did not bother to reprimand him for insubordination, aware that the lieutenant would only ignore a dressing down, or judge it well earned, in his current state.

"The Captain," Tuvok said in reply.

"Yeah…come on, be a little more forthcoming."

"She stayed behind to destroy the vortex, to save those aliens," Kim whispered, readouts informing him that it had been destroyed. "She must have deployed the torpedoes just after we got through to this end."

"Correct, Ensign."

At Kim's words, the pilot's face had turned incredulous, and with Tuvok's confirmation, he burst out, "Why did she decide to go off on her own?" Paris just could not understand. "What the hell was she _thinking_?"

"I do not believe she was thinking clearly, Lieutenant," Tuvok said, a trace of sadness entering his normally detached voice.

"So…what happens now?" Kim asked quietly.

Tuvok had the attention of the entire bridge.

"We adapt. It appears that I am now in command of this vessel and," Tuvok said, maintaining eye contact with Paris, " as next in the hierarchy, you are now First Officer."

Paris started to say something but nothing came out of his mouth. Still in shock, he turned back to the front, unable to comprehend just how the situation had changed.

"Tuvok to all hands. We have safely made it out of the Void, however, Captain Janeway has left _Voyager_ to remain behind and destroy the vortex in order to prevent the aliens from being further victimized by Malon. I am now in command, with Lieutenant Commander Paris as First Officer."

The new XO flapped a hand over his shoulder at Tuvok.

"Great, a promotion. You'll forgive me if I don't sound overjoyed at this step up the ladder in the chain of command."

"I will be in my ready room," Tuvok said with some irony. "You have the bridge.'

_-End Pt1-_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part Two**

_5th Year DQ-Future_

"Captain, we're picking up a vessel on sensors," Harry Kim reported.

"Are we within visual range?" Janeway asked. At the affirmative response, she nodded for him to put it on the viewer, raising an amused eyebrow at the Federation shuttle that appeared.

"Of course," she shook her head cynically. "Life signs?"

"I'm detecting one life sign," Kim said, and then paused.

Janeway stood and turned to face him. "Well? Don't keep us in suspense, Ensign."

"It's Ocampan."

Only a slight widening of the eyes revealed the Captain's shock.

"They're hailing."

"Onscreen."

Kes, albeit an older, more weathered Kes, appeared.

"Captain, permission- permission to come aboard." The Ocampa looked to be on death's doorstep, her breath rasping painfully, harsh lines apparent on her face.

"Of course," Janeway told her and ordered her officers, "Open the shuttle bay doors."

She wondered what had happened to her old friend to make her look so bitter, but then thought ironically that Kes could wonder the same of her.

"Captain, the shuttle's speeding up," Ayala from Tactical told her. "Hey, what is she doing? She's too fast- the shuttle's going to collide with us!"

"Kes, you've got to slow down," Janeway said sharply as communications were opened again. "Kes! You're coming in too fast, slow down!"

_Voyager_ shuddered as the shuttle hit her.

"Captain, I'm detecting a transport- Kes has beamed aboard." Shockwaves raced through Voyager. "She's somehow disabling our systems…" he shook his head in confusion. "I don't understand it." The ship jolted beneath their feet. "Bulkhead ruptures are appearing along her path, on Deck 11, Section 17…18…"

"Force fields," Janeway said grimly, as Ayala dispatched a Security team to intercept Kes and apprehend her.

Down on Deck 11, Kes staggered back from the force fields. Her face contemptuous, she straightened and continued forward- with shocking results to those watching.

On the bridge, Kim was bewildered. "She just walked through them like they weren't there," the ensign said incredulously. "I don't understand…why is she doing this?"

The security guards appeared from around the corner, aiming their phasers at Kes.

"Don't move, ma'am," one ordered.

She took a step forward mockingly.

"I'm telling you, don't even think-" the second man was cut off as the bulkhead exploded just by their position, rendering him and his crewmates unconscious.

The destruction continued as Kes moved on.

"She's going to tear the ship apart," whispered Stadi, from the Helm.

Shooting the Lieutenant a cutting look, Janeway said, "And I'll be damned if I'm going to let her. Mr Kim, lock onto my signature and beam me to Kes' position."

"I'm not sure-" the young officer objected, but Janeway fixed that cutting glare on him as well.

"I am. Do it."

Kim obeyed, with a hesitation that betrayed his reluctance.

"Kes!" Janeway called as she materialized in front of the Ocampa. "Stop this!"

The woman drew back in distaste. "Captain."

"Why are you trying to destroy us? What has happened?"

"What has _happened_?" Kes repeated with outraged disbelief. "What has happened is that I am finally making you pay for corrupting me with your ideals, your beliefs, _that's_ what happened."

"Corrupting you?" Janeway repeated. "What do you mean?"

"I was a child," Kes said, voice shaking with anger. "You brought me on board and made a prisoner out of me! You converted me to your way of thinking, to _explore_, to _discover_, well, what I discovered has changed me- and I intend to exact retribution for what you've made me become."

"We didn't make you a prisoner. In case your memory has been affected, let me remind you that the first time we encountered you was after rescuing you from the position of captive to the Kazon," Janeway told her fiercely. "And you, along with Neelix, made the decision- yourselves! - that you wished to stay on board and guide us, help us with our journey. I didn't speak a single word to try and convince you to stay on board; it was your choice entirely!"

Kes looked conflicted for a moment, but her expression hardened. "No, no, you're wrong… you're _lying_ to me!" She snapped a hand out, destroying a section of the wall, but failing to injure Janeway in her confusion. "You're doing it again."

"You have to believe me, Kes-"

"Liar!" Kes drew into herself and focussed on Janeway, who warily shook her head.

"Don't, Kes, I'm not trying- _oh_!" she flew back, hitting the wall ten metres away and sliding to the ground. Janeway shook her head, trying to clear her vision, and then dragged herself up to meet Kes who was advancing towards her, fury etched on her face.

"So many years," she said in a quiet voice that did nothing to diminish the hysteria the Ocampa was experiencing, "I was out there, facing things you couldn't even imagine-"

"Oh, I doubt that."

"- unbelievable dangers that I barely survived, and the only way I pulled through it was thinking of exactly what I would do to you all for what I've been through, the pain-"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Kes," Janeway said loudly over her. "You think you have a monopoly on pain and unhappiness? Well, rest assured that you most certainly do _not_. We've been through so much here on _Voyager_ after you left, so don't- don't presume to tell me how you've suffered, because you haven't been here and you have no idea," she stopped to draw in a deep breath, then continued bluntly, "Neelix is dead."

That frank statement made Kes flinch.

"He and five others were killed when the Hirogen boarded the ship. They turned _Voyager_ into one large holodeck, put implants in most of the crew to make us believe we were characters within several holodeck war games and then they hunted us. They 'killed' us many times over, sending us to Sickbay be patched up and then brought right back into the action for the cycle of abuse to begin all over again.

"Before that, alien scientists invaded the ship, conducting medical experiments on us, altering our genetic structure in order to collect data from the results. They claimed it would be instrumental in curing many of the disorders that afflicted those of their race, and that they would continue to use us as their _lab rats_, regardless of our objection to the torment we were subjected to," Janeway picked her words ruthlessly, watching the effect on the woman she used to know, hoping to shock her back into sanity or something similar, "regardless of the deteriorating state of the crew. I finally had to order Tom fly us through a binary pulsar in order to persuade our unwanted guests to leave, and that suicidal order demonstrates how unbearable they made our lives, for me to risk the entire crew to rid ourselves of the aliens," Janeway began to move, stepping towards Kes as her intensity grew.

"Before _that_ was our 'Year of Hell'.You weren't there for the entire duration. You remember the Krenim? Or at least, one of their captains, who was trying to restore the old empire to its former glory after the collapse of his society. Admirable sentiments, except that he was willing to eradicate entire species with the temporal weapon that brought about the destruction in the first place. And unfortunately, we were in the way. Months passed with us on continuous red alert, being attacked at every turn, but you got out before the worst of it. _Voyager_'s one child, Naomi Wildman, was killed during that period. As was- Commander Chakotay.

"And the _Borg_. Where do I begin with the Borg?" the Captain continued coldly.

"Enough!" Kes cried. "Enough, you've made your point."

"Have I?" she asked, taking another step closer to Kes for emphasis. "Nothing I ever did, no actions I ever took," Janeway said slowly, emotion choking some of the words, "were ever intended to result in harm to you. _Never_."

"_Look_ at me," Kes told her, less furious than before. "Look at me, how I've changed. I'm not the Kes you knew. All those years out there on my own…I need to be with people, that- I just," despair transformed her face. "I can't stand being alone- but I've changed too much! My own people would be frightened by me, of what I am now."

"I'm sorry that the years have not been any kinder to you. They've been hard on all of us," Janeway let down her mask long enough to let the Ocampa see the weariness and the grief that she lived with day after day. "Especially on the living. So many of us have lost loved ones."

"Neelix?"

Her former Captain sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid so. It was a brutal way to tell you, and I apologize for that. You understand why I had to."

"Yes," Kes looked back behind her at the damage she had wrought. "Yes, I do. I was so angry…and oh, Captain, I'm so sorry about Commander Chakotay. I know the two of you had a special relationship."

The pain on Janeway's face increased at the mention of her late First Officer. "Yes," her voice thickened. "Thank you." She cleared her throat. "So, Kes, if you don't mind my asking- what was the real reason you were so incensed?"

There was wonder in her voice as Kes said, "It's been a few years and you still don't miss a thing. I'm not proud of my behaviour, but when I realized I was dying…" she shook her head helplessly. "I am the first of my kind to develop my abilities to this extent, past that of Tanis and his people. I am six years old, Captain- and I am dying. The average life span was nine, then Tanis said that he had known of Ocampans who lived up to fourteen and-"

"I think I understand," Janeway said, realizing what had brought on Kes' desire for revenge that had almost meant the annihilation of _Voyager_. "Your superior powers led to a premature onset of the _morilogium_."

She looked resigned. "Yes, Captain."

"Oh, Kes, I wish that you had felt you could tell us that in the first place without resorting to such drastic measures." She was serious about the first part, half jesting with the second. "Now, do you have an idea how much longer you have?"

"I- no, as I said, I'm the first, well, in _centuries_, to have developed my mental abilities to this level. I have no idea how much it has affected me, other than my growth has been accelerated and that I am now in the final phase of my life."

"Then we'd better hurry, hadn't we?"

"Captain?" Kes asked, confused.

Janeway put an arm around her. "It's not every day a cherished friend returns to us and I'm not going to just let you die. I can't promise results, but I will promise that we'll do everything we can to help stop your premature aging. All right?"

"All right," a expression of disbelief flitted over the Ocampa's fatigued face.

"Let's get to Sickbay."

Kes stopped her for a minute. "Thank you, Captain. For not holding what happened today against me. For being here with me."

"You're part of the family," Janeway said simply. "Not to trivialize your experience, but all children throw tantrums. You should meet the newest member of the crew, former Borg drone Seven of Nine. Now she's been one of the more troublesome ones, but I'm working on her…"

"Doctor," Janeway called as she entered Sickbay with Kes.

"Why, how kind of you to drop by," the hologram greeted her, "just in time for-" the Doctor looked from Janeway to Kes, and back.

With a wicked grin, the Captain asked demurely, "Doctor, you remember Kes, don't you? On the ship for a few years, helped you in Sickbay…?"

"Of course I remember," he retorted waspishly, donning a bright smile as he put his hands on Kes' shoulders, "Hello, Kes, and welcome back. It's good to see you again," before glaring at the Captain, "My memory is not subject to amendment without notice, unlike yours, since I recall quite clearly asking you to report to Sickbay a _week_ ago."

"I was busy."

"Ah, yes, the glorious life style of a Federation starship captain. You're the one in charge, _you_ wake up and tell yourself, 'today, I am going to be worthy of my rank and make sure I go to Sickbay, _damn_ the schedule'," he instructed her. "Now, Kes, whatever are you doing back? We never expected to see you again. Not even a postcard."

"Sorry, Doctor. It's been busy," a genuine smile stirred on her face.

"Not you too," he groaned. "A few minutes and already the Captain's a bad influence on you. This really must change," he told Janeway sternly, "you have to set an example for the crew."

"So, Doctor, have you picked a name yet?" Kes asked, truly curious.

"No," he sighed. "I just can't seem to make up my mind. I considered Pyong Ko, a twenty-first surgeon who discovered the genetic sequence for inhibiting cancer cells. Others worthy of immortalisation in the form of my humble but inspired program were Mozart and Van Gogh, fairly self-explanatory; Jarvik, another doctor, an American physician and developer of the first artificial heart; Pasteur, a French chemist who developed a process for killing germs in food and drink-"

"Yes, Doctor, I believe she gets the picture," Janeway said, sharing an amused smile with Kes. "We have work to do."

"Well," the Doctor looked affronted. "Why didn't you say so?"

"Kes has entered the _morilogium_," the Captain held up a hand to forestall the Doctor's protest, "I know she's young, but we believe it has to do with the advanced nature of her mental abilities."

"I see. Hmm," the Doctor seemed lost in thought.

After waiting quite a few moments, Janeway prompted, "'Hmm', Doctor? What is the medical nature of 'hmm'?"

"Oh, Captain, yes, I was thinking back to when Kes was on board, shortly after her premature _elogium_," he said. "I had decided to investigate techniques that would work to deter, or at least, delay the onset of the _morilogium_."

"And what were your results?" Janeway asked.

"Inconclusive. I came up with a highly experimental procedure that had a very good probability of success; it involves a bio-temporal chamber," the Doctor explained. "Its only flaw is that it hasn't been tested before. After your departure," he said aside to Kes, "further study was no longer necessary. I never anticipated you would return, else I would have continued my research."

"Don't worry about it, Doctor," Kes soothed the regretful hologram. "I'm glad you decided to look into it in the first place."

"When can you perform this procedure by?" Janeway asked the important question.

"Right away," he assured her.

Janeway let out a deep breath, glancing at Kes. "Well, shall we?"

The Ocampa nodded, looking a little apprehensive.

"It's nothing to worry about," the Doctor said. "It won't hurt at all."

"I believe you," Kes said, trying to sound convinced and to keep up a positive front, as the procedure began. Janeway, who stood on the other side of the forcefield, smiled reassuringly. "I'm all right, Captain."

"Just stay that way. Chin up. That's an order," the older woman teased.

"Yes, ma'am!" Kes answered, but then rubbed her arms as cold bit into her. "Doctor? I'm feeling cold all of a sudden…"

"Yes, your temperature is 2 degrees lower than the average for an Ocampa- 16.3 degrees Centigrade," the Doctor noted with concern.

Then suddenly, the ship tilted crazily around her and Kes screamed as her senses were suddenly snuffed out like a candle. Blackness engulfed her…


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part Two cont.**

"There's a reason why Interspecies Protocol is a required class at the Academy, and why the Starfleet Handbook on Personal Relationships is three centimetres thick," Janeway's voice was harsh as she stared out the viewport, one foot braced on her couch.

Kim straightened to a formal posture and recited by rote, "Yes, ma'am. 'All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their commanding officer, as well as clearance from their medical officer, before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species'."

"Very good, Ensign," Janeway sarcastically commended him as she turned to face him. "Too bad you didn't-" she stopped suddenly as Kes suddenly materialized in the room.

The Ocampa looked up unsteadily, touching the desk lightly to keep her balance. "Captain," she exclaimed in relief. "What happened? I don't know how to describe it, but- did the Doctor say…?" Kes realized she was not in Sickbay as she had been, by her perspective, a few moments earlier. Looking around, she recognized the Captain's ready room. "Captain. _What_ is going on?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Janeway said grimly, tricorder out and scanning. "Computer, describe the life forms present in this room."

"There are three humanoids present: two humans, one Ocampan."

"Something must have gone wrong," Kes said, somewhat ironically. "What's the stardate, Captain?"

Eyeing her visitor warily, Janeway replied, "52573.1."

"It was 52861.27 when I returned to _Voyager_," Kes told her. "So this is earlier in the year. But why would I suddenly have been taken to the past?"

"I have no idea. Mr Kim, you have a reprieve. I will deal with you later," the Captain said shortly. "Dismissed."

"Yes, ma'am. See you, Kes," the ensign nodded and she managed a smile in return.

"Bye, Harry. What trouble," she gave in to curiosity when the doors slid shut, "could Harry Kim have gotten into?"

"Fraternization with a Varro crewmember. But that's not important. What _is_ important is that you say you've been displaced in time, and you have no idea how or why. Correct?" Janeway asked.

Kes blinked in astonishment at the brusque tone. "No," she replied icily. "What I am saying is that I have been _displaced in time_, as you say, and I do have a faint idea of how. The Doctor was used a bio-temporal field in an attempt to stop my aging process. I entered the _morilogium_ prematurely."

"A bio-temporal field," said Janeway. "Tuvok would say the logical place to start an investigation is at the last place of change. This bio-temporal field could be the cause of your current situation."

"Thank you, Captain. How very helpful. Your understanding of this matter amazes me," Kes said sarcastically. "Do you possibly think that- I'm freezing," she broke off. "Computer, did the temperature just change?"

"Negative," the pleasant voice answered her.

Then the dizzying sensation of extreme disorientation came over Kes again and-

"Kes? Are you ill?" Janeway finally sounded concerned.

_Flash._

_Deck 11, Section 94:_

"Wonderful," an irritable voice declared.

"I doubt you'd say that if you knew how I felt," Kes snapped.

Janeway stared at the Ocampan who had appeared out of nowhere. "I have an 8472 cornered, wounded and all the more dangerous for it, Hirogen breathing down my neck wanting to kill it for a trophy in this Hunt of theirs and-" she looked at Tuvok. "First confirm that Kes really is here, and is not a product of my overworked mind."

"She is real, Captain."

"Hi, Kes," Janeway said more cordially. "You'll forgive my lousy mood and less than welcoming manner?" she asked with a crooked grin, although her face still bore signs of weariness. "It's been one hell of a day. So. We…didn't expect to see you again. How have you been lately?"

"Captain, what's the stardate?" Kes, more rapidly recovering from her disorientation this time round, asked.

"The stardate? 51652.3."

"51…this is _Voyager_'s fourth year in the Delta Quadrant?"

Janeway arched a brow, "Last I recall, yes. Is that a problem?"

"I left _Voyager_- the beginning of this year," Kes said, as she tried to puzzle it out. "I return a year from now, in _Voyager_'s fifth year in the Delta Quadrant. I go back to- uh, Captain, have you met the Varro?"

"No, should we?"

"Oh, that's right, that'll be earlier, I went back to an incident with the Varro in the fifth year, and now I've travelled _further_ back to the fourth year."

"The Varro-? Wait, don't tell me. Kes, try to limit the details you give us?" Janeway said with a rueful smile. "Don't want to contaminate the timeline."

Kes smiled back, relaxing slightly. This Janeway was more like the one she remembered from happier times. "No, we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"So, what exactly happened?"

"The Doctor was trying to halt my _morilogium_. That had to have triggered something that's resulted in this time travelling," Kes said. "It's the only explanation."

Janeway laid a friendly arm on her. "Come on, then, let's get the Doctor to have a look at you. Tuvok, remain here and attempt further communication with the creature."

"Aye, Captain."

"Keep me informed," the Captain ordered, steering Kes in the direction of the turbolift. "_Morilogium_? I thought you were rather young for that…"

_Sickbay:_

"Hmm," the hologram said noncommittally a few minutes. "Ah hah. Oh, yes…"

Kes suspected he did that on purpose, though to what end she was not entirely sure. Attention? To infuriate his audience? With the Doctor, it could be anything.

"Doctor…" the Captain prompted him with an edge to her tone.

"Hmm?" the Doctor assumed a surprised expression, as though he had been oblivious to their impatience. "Right, this bio-temporal procedure is nothing short of brilliant, although it does seem the reason for your time travelling. I don't understand why you appear to be suffering from chroniton radiation poisoning, though."

"What?" Kes said, startled. "Let me see that."

The Doctor rolled his eyes as she examined the tricorder data. "I believe I am capable of sufficiently interpreting medical readings and offering diagnoses. After all, it's what I've been doing programmed to do by the best in Starfleet."

"Of corse, Doctor, but I wasn't expecting that diagnosis," Kes handed the tricorder back with a troubled look. "So, if I were ill from this radiation poisoning when the procedure was conducted, would that have altered…?"

"Yes," Janeway answered her, expression animated with interest. "Theoretically, it does stand to reason that the bio-temporal field could have reactivated the chroniton particles and thereby caused the jumps back in time. Fascinating," she was lost in thought for a few moments, but then snapped back into business mode. "So how do we stop it?"

"Paris to Janeway."

"Janeway here," she turned away to talk to the helmsman. "What have you found?"

"Well, based on what Seven and I discovered from what it was trying to access, I'd say the 8472 was trying to open a singularity into fluidic space. I don't know, Captain, Seven thinks it's trying to call in reinforcements, co-ordinate an invasion…" Paris was concerned. What little they knew of Species 8472 from Seven was not reassuring, though they had never encountered the species directly before. "Captain…maybe we _should_ consider handing it over to the Hirogen."

Janeway looked over at the Hirogen trapped behind force fields. "Maybe not. I'll see what Tuvok has to say. Janeway out," as she severed the contact, the Hirogen spoke up.

"You would be wise to do as your officer advises you."

"Please, I thought you were going to be sensible. We've already discussed this matter to death and it's giving me a headache."

The hunter regarded her arrogantly. "Then you will die," he stated succinctly, giving up the matter with an air that whatever happened, it would be her funeral. Literally.

"So you keep telling me," she said dryly. "Janeway to Tuvok. Report."

"This discussion has been enlightening. It appears that in a conflict with the Borg, the alien's ship was damaged, and it became separated from its companions, stranded here. Apparently it has been hunted relentlessly by the Hirogen since they discovered its existence. It claims that it only wishes to return to its home in fluidic space."

"I see," Janeway said, staring intently at the Hirogen hunter. "Then we shall assist it."

"Bridge to the Captain. Please report to the bridge immediately."

"On my way," Janeway looked at Kes. "You're with me."

The hunter once again stirred. "That will be the other Hirogen vessels. You will be outnumbered and destroyed. This is your last chance, Captain."

"I don't give in to bullies," she said over her shoulder.

"Courageous…but foolhardy."

Discussion apparently over, he ignored her again and she shrugged, not having planned to wait around to hear what words of wisdom he would share next.

_Bridge:_

The battle was underway and _Voyager_ definitely outmatched. Still, Janeway fought back, determined not to be subjugated. Rapping out orders on the bridge, she was still fuming over Seven's refusal to obey orders and assist the 8472 back to its home. The ex-drone _would_ pick now to rebel, when it would surpass mere extreme inconvenience and enter potentially disastrous. As always, her timing was impeccable.

The Vulcan had reclaimed the Tactical post and she ordered, "Tuvok, fire at will."

"Shields decreased a further ten percent," Kim called.

"Reroute power from non-essential systems to the shields."

Another volley hit _Voyager_. "Shields holding," Kim reported.

In the middle of the fracas, Janeway looked over at the stressed Ocampan as Kes grimaced. The 8472 was loud in its distress.

"Something wrong?"

"The alien, it's becoming agitated," she reported.

The Captain nodded. "Janeway to Seven. Give the 8472 more nanoprobes," when Seven's response was less than immediate, she said, "That is a direct order, Seven. _Do it_."

"I will comply," Seven said reluctantly.

"Captain, permission to accompany her?" Kes asked. "Maybe I can help soothe it."

"Go ahead. Keep an eye on Seven while you're at it."

Kes nodded and headed for the turbolift. As she entered it, she heard the cry from Kim as a particularly vicious round was fired on _Voyager_.

"Shields down, Captain!"

_Deck 11, Section 94:_

"Calm down, you're going to be all right," Kes spoke softly to the agitated 8472. "Captain Janeway will help you."

The ship shook under the heavy fire and the alien shifted tensely. It seemed to study her for a few moments, and then she felt a telepathic connection form between them. Before she could sense heightened emotions, such as anxiety, tension and rage. There was a more sophisticated form of communication in place now, and she repeated her earlier words to it.

The 8472 was doubtful. Janeway was an unknown, it could not be certain of her motivations, and since its abilities were not compatible with her mind, it could not access that information. With a society such as its own, this alienation from mental contact with others of its own kind was difficult to endure, especially for months that it had been forced to exist in isolation. Lost, in a strange universe where the laws were unfamiliar, so alien to what was known by the 8472-

The creature protested her use of the label. It did not exist as a mere Borg designation.

Kes soothed it. _Very well, then. I did not know what else to refer to you as. How else may I do so?_

Its name- was Ri'Kath, to put it in simpler terms. The unabbreviated form would have little meaning to her as she was not familiar with its cultural context.

_Ri'Kath. I must say, I've never encountered anyone like you before. You say that in your society, all are linked by a common telepathic bond?_

It started to reply, but then she sensed contempt and distrust. Kes realized that Seven of Nine, the former drone Captain Janeway had mentioned, in one time period or another, was approaching.

"Kes," the statuesque woman stated. "Formerly of the _Voyager_ collective."

The 8472- _apologies, Ri'Kath_- murmured a wicked observation regarding Borg terminology and the ex-drone. Seven was oblivious to the exchange, and Kes hid a guilty grin at the statement.

"Yes, well, I prefer to think of myself as still part of the family," she covered up.

Seven arched a brow. "Indeed? As you wish," it was said with an air that suggested it did not matter to _her_ what Kes chose to think. "I have the na-" she stopped with a sharp glance over her shoulder at the Hirogen who appeared.

Kes recognized him from Sickbay. "Of course, shields were down," she said. Then, shivering at a sudden chill, Kes rubbed her arms and-

-as though the hiatus in the prior time frame had been to allow her a chance to catch her breath and absorb what was happening to her, Kes now spun wildly through the past, flashing in and out of fragments of time in a bewildering experience of loud voices and blinding colour. At one stage, she was aware of what looked to be viruses of colossal stature attacking the crew. One, roughly the size of an eagle, propelled itself menacingly toward her, proboscis plunging with disturbing intent. Kes turned to run but was jerked into another fragment of time.

Now she must be in the holodeck, because around her was a representation of early Earth at a less advanced stage in history. She saw the Captain hurrying past her and called out but the woman cast her a strange glance and continued on her way.

"Captain!"

Katrine stopped and looked annoyed at the young woman pursuing her. "Look, do I know you?" she asked impatiently. The blond stopped as if shot.

"Captain Janeway, this isn't amusing."

Her brows rose. "You must have the wrong woman, then. I'm Katrine. Now, I really must go…" She didn't see the young woman inexplicably vanish behind her, an imploring hand outstretched as she disappeared.

Around her, the ship shook as though under attack. A hull section exploded out right in front of her, leaving her shaken, and a hand clamped on her shoulder, spinning her around to face who she recognized as a Hirogen, judging from the Hunter in Sickbay.

"What is your-" he began to demand, but then merged into a frozen corpse, face arrested in a rictus of pain, which suddenly twisted into a gleeful smile as the tall blonde with an odd metallic object above her eye clasped her in a spontaneous hug. "Hi! My name's Maryl, wanna play kadis-kot?"

Behind her someone called, "Seven! You're supposed to be in Sickbay-"

Feeling sick, retching half heartedly, Kes stumbled back against a workstation in what she automatically identified as the transporter room. Closing her eyes against the temptation of unconsciousness that beckoned, a harsh voice came to her ears.

"Neelix, not to be insensitive, but frankly, you picked a bad time to feel suicidal. Every single member of this crew has been through a lot recently, and you're not helping with this act of supreme stup-"

"Captain," Kes summoned the energy to open her eyes and face the situation, interrupting Janeway as she saw the Captain a few metres away. "Neelix?" she saw the Talaxian on the transporter pad. "What's happening?"

The Captain arched a brow. "Mr Neelix is attempting to beam himself into the nebula," she said icy tones. "He does not seem to appreciate the value of recovery, simple conversation, bonding with people in an effort to overcome his depression, instead preferring to hasten his death as treatment."

"Sweeting?" Neelix whispered. "Is that you? Oh, it's been so horrible, thank goodness you had left before it got worse. So many people, good people…" He stepped off the pad, clearing his throat and leaving the sentence incomplete as he moved to engulf her in a bear hug. "I'm so glad you're here now it's over."

"It's- good to see you too," Kes told him uncertainly. "Neelix, what year is it? Can you tell me the stardate?"

"It's 2374, Kes. And the stardate is 51449.2."

She frowned at the answer. "Well, it seems I'm moving backwards in time…I'm afraid I need your help. I'm not sure-"

"Of course we'll help," Neelix told her warmly, apparently overcoming his previous despair in a dramatic mood swing. "Won't we, Captain?"

Janeway was tiredly pressing a hand to her head. "If it's not one thing, it's another. One _crisis_ after another. What are you doing back, Kes?"

The Ocampan chose not to take offence at that remark, looking with concern at the Captain, who appeared gaunt and brittle, not adjectives that normally applied to her. "I'll explain on the way. I'm not sure what's going on, but I have a feeling that the Doctor may be able to explain. At least, I hope so."

"Very well. Lead on. I assume you recall the way?"

She sighed resignedly. Apparently this Janeway wasn't going to make it easy on her. "Yes, Captain." Gingerly, she walked towards the door, wondering if at any moment she might be picked up and deposited into the maelstrom of rapid time changes that had almost driven her insane just moments before. However, she arrived safely in Sickbay, after a rather tense, though uneventful, journey with the Captain; Neelix had reluctantly left her side to return to the Messhall and she had been rather glad, sickened by his fawning attitude. Now a challenge of a different sort faced her.

"You say I, or rather, my future counterpart uses a _bio-temporal_ field?" the Doctor fired at her in a brusque tone, his manner suggesting she was beneath him but he would deign to investigate and he expected her to be properly appreciative.

"That's right. And Captain Janeway suggested that might have activated the chroniton particles from when the Krenim torpedo exposed the entire crew, myself included, to radiation poisoning-" Kes stopped suddenly, realizing she was perilously close to, if not already, breaking the Temporal Prime Directive. There was a disdainful smile on Janeway's face. "Now I'm travelling back in time and I would be oh so very appreciative if you found a way to reverse my condition before I regress to a time before I was born."

"Effectively wiping her out of existence, I presume?" Janeway asked tonelessly, as if it were a matter of little passing significance.

The Doctor shrugged, emulating her indifferent approach. "One would assume so."

"Since I'm the only person who seems to really care," Kes said with a sharp edge to her voice at these two people's disinterest in her continued existence, "I suppose I'll pose the question very dear to my heart, how can it be reversed?"

"Excellent question. Remarkable how you cut to the crux of the matter at hand. I'll look into it," the hologram moved away, terminating the conversation.

"I'll be on the bridge. Kes, you know your way around," Janeway left without a second glance, doors hissing shut behind her as she exited Sickbay.

Kes looked around in disgust. "Sure. I suppose I'll just amuse myself til someone can be bothered helping me." The Doctor didn't give any indication he had heard her, and so she irritably stalked out of the room.

_-End Pt 2-_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part Three**

_Current time_

_Captain's Log:_

_Given our bad luck with nebulae, it is with an uneasy spirit that I order Tom to fly us into the closest on sensors. Unfortunately, _Voyager_'s energy reserves are dwindling, and it has been longer than I like to consider since we've encountered anything but warring races, xenophobic cultures and the like, which typically don't express any desire to trade in a peaceful manner. This nebula, according to our readouts, possesses exactly what we need- a high level of omicron particles. Detailed scans show it isn't another life form- we've definitely learnt from _that_ mistake- and so I won't allow any vague, superstitious worries deter us from our goal. I just hope this doesn't turn out to be another fiasco…_

"Let's move, Mr Paris," Janeway ordered, standing on the Bridge with her hands on her hips.

"Once more unto the breach?" Chakotay suggested sympathetically.

She sighed. "Sure feels like it. By the way, Mr Kim, just to double check, we _are_ sure this isn't a life form, right?" Janeway asked the Ensign at Ops, half teasingly.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered with a little grin. Janeway turned and rolled her eyes at him- the 'yes, ma'am/ no, ma'am' was a little joke between the two of them, and she could use the light heartedness at the moment.

"Keep that up and you'll never make Lieutenant," she reprimanded him mockingly.

"Did I ever have a chance?" he muttered.

Paris looked around at his friend with fake sympathy, "Oh, well, Harry, just think- next data stream, your mother can lecture the Captain on your many merits and the thousand and one reasons you should be promoted."

Kim groaned. "She would, too!"

"Don't worry, Harry, I've already passed that particular hurdle already," Janeway said in mock sympathy. "I'm afraid I've had to explain to her that, in light of our current circumstances, it's quite frankly impossible to promote everyone who deserves it, due to the fact that we'll end up with too many people giving orders and not enough to carry them out!"

Kim looked at her, horrified. "She didn't-?"

Janeway cracked a grin. "You're right, she didn't."

"Sucked in!" Paris cheered.

An exaggerated sigh was heard from the Engineering console from their half-Klingon engineer. "Stow it, flyboy," B'Elanna Torres ordered.

Paris slid her an appreciative grin. "Far be it from me to go against a lady's wishes."

"It's never stopped you before," Janeway and Torres said simultaneously, startling laughs from everyone at their unintended chorus, almost but not quite masking the sudden series of bleeps from a console.

"Captain," Tuvok pronounced. "There appears to be another vessel in this nebula."

"Great. Bets on whether this is some sort of religious landmark and we're to be destroyed for our sacrilege?" Tom made sure to keep the comment low so that the Captain wouldn't hear him. Her appreciation for his brand of humour tended to degrade in tense situations.

"This is odd…uh, Captain?" Harry looked over at her. "I'm detecting a Starfleet signature. In fact, I can match it to one of our shuttles!"

"'Once more unto the breach' indeed," Janeway said, sharing a grim glance with her First Officer before looking back to Tactical. "Well, Tuvok, what do you recommend?"

"I believe that we should attempt to track and locate the shuttle and its occupants," he said to her.

She rolled her eyes, even as she asked, "Harry, just to clarify, is the shuttle still on board _Voyager_?"

"Yes, Captain."

Janeway looked back at Tuvok steadily, arching a challenging brow as she referred to his earlier recommendation, "Oh, I don't know, Tuvok, we don't know what the situation is."

"Often we do not possess all the facts. That does not hamper you- or are you advocating prudence for once?"

"And they say Vulcans don't have a sense of humour. Mr Paris," she raised her voice. "Alter course to intercept."

"Already on it."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part Three cont.**

_Sickbay:_

"Well, Doctor?" Kes eyed the hologram with dislike.

In the week that she had been stranded in this time period, none of the crew had particularly endeared themselves to her. There was Neelix, whose clingy and deferential behaviour was cringe worthy, making her avoid him out of pity for who he had become. And on the opposite end of the spectrum was the unwelcome reaction of the rest of the crew. It was as though some resented her for having left them during the Krenim attacks and felt she was not truly one of them for not having suffered right alongside them then. Others simply couldn't be bothered renewing past associations; they all had gotten on with their lives and had no time for her.

As a result, Kes had spent a lot of time in the hydroponics bay, finding that tending to the flowers at least gave her a relaxing task to do, to keep her mind off the current situation, and it had the bonus of reducing her interactions with this crew that were so familiar on the outside yet nothing like her memories of them. It took her quite a lot of control not to unleash the devastating forces barely kept in check inside her, and there were times when she was sorely tempted to obliterate any number of the crew.

Particularly the Doctor, who stared condescendingly back at her.

"I have concluded that the only way to reverse what is happening to you is to purge you entirely of the radiation," he told her. "However, that requires knowledge of the temporal variance of this _Krenim_ torpedo you mentioned as contaminating the entire crew?"

Kes had a stricken look on her face. She had never known it was of any consequence, never thought to check the temporal variance of the torpedo.

"I suppose that is a 'no'," the Doctor concluded, then dismissed the matter. "There is nothing I can do. Computer, deactivate-"

"That's it?" Kes asked angered. "Nothing? I'm just stuck here?"

He raised a superior eyebrow, "Charmingly put, but yes, very apt. You are indeed _stuck here_. Now if there is nothing further…?" without waiting for an answer, the hologram completed the deactivation command and faded from sight as his program shut down.

The Ocampan clung to a bio-bed for balance as the shock of that pronouncement sunk in. "I'm stuck here," she repeated without heat, without any emotion. A bitter laugh resounded in Sickbay. "Maybe I should just destroy the ship and get it over with, or I'll go crazy…"

Just then, when she had given up hope, she felt a tingling. In that first split second of disbelieving joy, she dismissed it as nothing. But then the feeling grew to envelope her with the familiar chill as she thankfully left this warped parody of her ship and crew.

Flinching against the sensations she expected to overwhelm her, Kes realized that the displacement was over already. It seemed she was adapting to the onslaught of sensory data, and Kes, for one, was pleased not to be fighting oblivion or doubled over in nausea again. She examined her surroundings with a jaundiced eye, noting she was the centre of attention of the bridge.

"Commander Chakotay," Kes then exclaimed in surprise. "You're- alive," her voice expressed her deprecating attitude towards the surely absurd sounding words, but that fact was one that deserved to be observed out loud, for it meant Janeway would not be the embittered, world weary woman she had just left behind. "Wonderful," she said very sincerely.

"Kes?" Janeway asked curiously, obviously realizing this wasn't the Ocampan she knew. "What is this?"

"Captain Janeway, I require assistance," Kes announced with her best 'take no prisoners' approach. "And you're just the person to provide it."

"Chakotay, I'll be in Sickbay," Janeway said aside to her First Officer, arching a wry brow. "This should be good. Come on, Kes. Let's get you checked out."

"So," the Doctor tried to sort out the increasingly complex story but decided to cut to the basics. "I understand your desire to avoid oblivion, however, I'm afraid there is little I can do. My- counterpart was correct, that only the correct temporal variance can purge you of the radiation that is causing your jumps back in time." Seeing the Ocampan's slumped posture and cheerless expression, he sympathetically patted her on the shoulder in an awkward gesture of support. "Nevertheless, I'll conduct further research. Perhaps I may be able to find something of use to you before…" _you revert to a former time period, perhaps too far for anyone to help you…_

"Doctor, thank you for trying," Kes smiled tiredly. "At least I know you tried that much for me."

"Of course, Kes. It is no problem at all."

She shook her head at the contrasting attitudes of this hologram and the other that she had met. "This is just so odd," she didn't realize she spoke out loud. A familiar voice beside her startled the ruminating woman.

"I can't begin to imagine how odd- or perhaps, being faced with myself, maybe just a little," the Kes of the current timeline said with a touch of humour. "Hi."

"Hi," Kes said, considering her younger self. "Curiouser and curiouser."

The younger woman's eyes opened wide. "I just finished reading that."

Her older counterpart said with mischievous grin, "I know."

After a moment, they both burst out laughing, and Kes relaxed in the more welcoming mentality of this time period.

"How have you been?" asked Kes, intrigued by this chance to observe and interact with her future self. The Captain had predicted that the temporal mechanics would give her a headache, and so she had decided not to worry about how this opportunity had presented itself, but to focus on what insights it could offer her.

"It's been rough…I've made a few rash choices, some foolish decisions," Kes shrugged, looking into the innocent, guileless face of her younger self and feeling a sense of protectiveness towards her. A sigh escaped and she tiredly reflected, "I wonder if you're inexorably bound to my mistakes, condemned to repeat- or, rather, commit them again, I-"

"Captain Janeway said that her advice with trying to figure out temporal anomalies was not to try," Kes commented. "I thought I'd remind you."

"That is ever so helpful of you. I feel the headache easing already," she quipped. "But it's such a fascinating topic; how can I stay away? Particularly when I'm living the reality?"

"I'm responsible for my own actions," Kes returned to address her counterpart's regretful words. "If you're me, then I'm you and your actions are my own, therefore _I'm_ responsible for whatever it is that happens."

"You're confusing me," she remarked.

Kes said with a deadpan delivery, "I'm confusing myself."

She gazed at the serene expression on her younger self's face doubtfully and decided to laugh at what must have been an intended pun. It felt good sharing in some humour after being angry and resentful for so long. She wished she could remain in this time period indefinitely, yet she realized that soon she would be forced to leave.

A compassionate touch made her look at the other Kes, who smiled gently. "I'm sure the Doctor doesn't mean for you to languish in here; why don't we go for a walk?"

Kes wasn't sure about how she would feel about facing the crew; even if they didn't remember how they treated her, or how _she_ had treated _them_. Still, the eager to please look on Kes' face convinced her to fall in with her suggestion.

"Sure, it's as good a plan as any," she shrugged accommodatingly. "By the way, what's happening at the moment? I don't even know what stardate it is!"

"It's stardate 50348.1," Kes obligingly informed her. "And- let's see, most notable recent event was going back to twentieth century earth and discovering we were responsible for its advances in technology that shaped it into one of the major forces in the Alpha Quadrant! And of course, watching those soap operas…"

"Yes, I can't quite remember what the addiction was," she said smirking at her younger self. "But I know where we are now-" she paused, a horrifying thought striking her.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Kes stared at her. "It's changed. This is different. I was supposed to be taken over by some hostile- aren't they all- alien former ruler of a place called Ilari. The stardate, the chronology of the events…it hasn't happened and it should be…What does this mean?"

"Well, from what you just said, I think perhaps that's a good thing, don't you?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm warping the timeline just by being here and I don't know what the long-term effects are going to be. I never fully considered it before now."

"It's all right," her young counterpart said soothingly. "Captain Janeway will fix it. I have faith in her and"-sternly-"so should you, understand? This will turn out fine in the end."

To have that ingenuousness, that infallible faith in the universe and her captain again! Kes felt strangely moved by how trusting she had been, and realized how far removed she was from that idealistic, wide eyed Ocampan she had been; vulnerable, and so eager to explore the mysteries of the universe around her. It really brought home to her the injustice of attempting to fix blame to her _Voyager_ family for what she had been responsible for and she squirmed inwardly.

"_Any_way," she firmly removed that train of thought from her consciousness, determined not to brood over it, "if this is all my past, and it's being changed, then shouldn't I have memories of what happened?"

"But it hasn't happened yet," Kes pointed out.

"It should have, from my point of view," she argued.

They had stopped in the middle of the corridor and had to move aside as a group of officers passed by. They were clearly dressed for the holodeck resort program, and all looked with lively curiosity at the second Kes, though all they did was to murmur polite greetings.

"We can continue this in my quarters, I think," Kes said ruefully. "It must be agony for the crew, wondering what's happening. I'm sure the rumours are flying at Warp 10 by now. Tom Paris will probably be along soon to learn what he can for the pools!"

"Good point. So now that we've established that _nothing_ is established, especially your future which is my past and something that ought to be firmly in place," she said as they moved off on the new tangent to their quarters, "what _is_ happening? Where are we headed?"

"Last I heard, a nebula to collect omicron particles. _Voyager_'s systems badly need it."

"I should _think_ so, for us to be risking entering a nebula again!"

Kes' eyes twinkled with a humorous light. "We do always seem to be getting into trouble with nebulae, don't we?"

"Yeah…" she leaned against the wall as they waited for the turbolift.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kes said concerned at her future counterpart's fatigue. "It didn't even occur to me; are you hungry?"

"Famished," she confessed as the turbolift arrived.

Kes grinned. "We can go get some" – the Captain's voice suddenly interrupted over the comm.

"Kes, report to Sickbay. _Immediately_," she said before cutting the channel without further ado.

"Which of us do you suppose the Captain meant?" she asked her counterpart rhetorically and ordered, "Sickbay."

Janeway had returned to the bridge after verifying Kes' identity, the problem, and then setting the Doctor on it. It was a fascinating situation, from a scientist's point of view. Such a phenomena had never been recorded before, and she sat quietly musing in the command chair.

Of course, as Captain, she never lost track of what was happening; multitasking was part of the job. As part of her calculated mathematical probabilities out of interest- Tuvok's penchant for doing so had rubbed off on her in their years of friendship- she also ran through contingency plans, and recalled precedents with time travel to correlate to their current situation, before calling for a status report on the shuttle reported in the nebula.

"We're in range, Captain," Kim announced.

"Open a channel. This is Captain Janeway of the Starship _Voyager_ to Federation shuttle," Janeway said, arching a brow at Chakotay ironically. "Please identify yourself."

"They're responding."

A gasp escaped someone on the bridge as _Janeway_ appeared on the viewscreen- or Janeway as she would appear if she were subjected to a few years worth of misery and painful disillusionment. This Janeway looked anorexic, features starkly defined, expression haunted; a bitter smile twisted her mouth, though the acid amusement left her eyes untouched, sending a shiver through those present.

"Kathryn Janeway, formerly captain of _Voyager_."

Janeway handled meeting her counterpart with equanimity. It had happened once before, when the ship had passed through a divergence field, and so it was of no huge consequence, although since this woman was her future self, it added a certain spice to the situation. One she did not enjoy at all; dealing with temporal matters required a fluidity of thought when it came to seeing time as capable of proceeding in a non linear fashion, with dips and channels into other times as it pleased, without rhyme or reason. The Dali paradox, the Pogo paradox, predestination paradoxes, she viewed them all with equal distaste.

All this in mind, she said mildly, "May we transport you across to our _Voyager_?"

The older Janeway shrugged indifferently. "Do as you please, Captain."

"Janeway to Transporter Room One."

"Mulchaey here."

"Lock onto the lifesign aboard the shuttle and beam it to Sickbay, Ensign."

After a pause, the ensign reported a successful transport.

"Janeway out. People," the Captain began issuing orders rapidly. "Let's get that shuttle docked in the bay. Chakotay, you're with me. Tuvok, you have the bridge." As the turbolift began to move smoothly, she said to Chakotay, "I can't wait to hear this one."

"Any other counterparts I should know about?" the Doctor enquired without looking up, addressing the command team as they entered Sickbay. "I could save time and run these scans simultaneously."

"No, Doctor, there are only the two of them," Chakotay said reassuringly. Then he reconsidered, "For the moment anyway."

"Kes?" the older Janeway asked, speaking in monosyllables, as she had been throughout the entire medical.

"Yes," Janeway said. "She returned recently, through rather unusual circumstances," she paused, unsure how much to tell the woman.

"Elaborate," ordered the other Janeway in a harsh tone that her younger self took exception to, narrowing her eyes but letting it pass.

"It seems she is travelling backwards through time," she said curtly. "She will return in our fifth year in the Delta Quadrant, suffering from the _morilogium_, and in an effort to treat her, the Doctor-"

"Places her in a bio-temporal for a treatment that he devised when she was still on the ship in the past," finished the older Janeway, more animated now. "I remember that occurring, I was in Sickbay when it happened. Kes just suddenly- vanished! The Doctor didn't understand what had happened to her…"

"She suffered from radiation poisoning once, or rather, she will," Janeway explained.

Enlightenment appeared on her counterpart's face. "The chronitons, dormant in her cells for the time being, were activated by the field!" Annoyance filtered through her expression. "I should have thought of that. Damnit, I should have realized," she bit her lip.

"It wasn't your fault," Chakotay assured her, laying a hand on her shoulder.

Janeway flinched away as though he had struck her. She had been ignoring him for the entire time he had been in the room, careful not to look at him directly even once.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, uncertain what he had done to give offence.

She shrugged, a predominant form of communication for her. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

Janeway and Chakotay exchanged looks over this reaction, but mutually decided not to press the issue with the woman.

"So- what will happen to Kes?" the older Janeway returned to the previous topic.

"Well," the Doctor said, pulling no punches. "If we can't do anything, it is likely that sooner or later- these jumps are erratic, according to what she had told us- she will arrive at the moment of conception, and then before, when she will…simply cease to exist."

Janeway shook her head determinedly, weary features hardening as she shot him an icy stare,"We can't let that happen."

"Do you have any suggestions?" he countered.

Her silence admitted what she refused to verbalize.

"Wait a minute," Chakotay said, realization spreading across his face. "We've missed something here, something very big. Doctor, you said that we needed to know the-?"

The hologram raised an eyebrow. "Temporal variance. I distinctly recall mentioning-"

"Of what? The temporal variance of what?"

His excitement was contagious.

"The torpedo she mentioned, that penetrated _Voyager_'s shields in some attack…"

"Which occurs-?" Chakotay prompted.

Janeway answered his question. "In the future…from our perspective! Janeway to Kes," she addressed the comm, "Report to Sickbay _immediately_." She turned to her counterpart intently. "Can you remember what it- was?" she froze at the expression she saw. There was unconcealed horror and anguish on a face that had previously regarded them cynically. Something terrible had happened during this attack that Kes had carefully edited out of her abbreviated tale, so terrible that even a vague reference to it could provoke such a reaction. Uneasily, Janeway wondered what it could be, aware that the woman in front of her was removed only by a few years… "Captain," she said soothingly but with a bite in her tone. This was, after all was said and done, her. She knew how to handle this reaction. "This is no time to go to pieces. Come on, we have Kes to think about."

A glare was directed at her with such force Janeway blinked, just a little rattled by the entire encounter. Once was not enough to become comfortable with such a situation. At least the future Janeway seemed to be pulling herself together.

"You don't need to remind me what my responsibilities are, _Captain_. I know what's at stake. And don't use that title, I don't have a ship anymore."

"Very well, what do you wish to be called then?"

The woman sighed, unwinding slightly. "I don't know, just- call me Kathryn. It's been a while," her gaze lost focus as though she were reliving memories again, more pleasant ones. "Quite a while."

Without looking at him, she knew that Chakotay was feeling the same anxiety and uneasiness she was, wondering what bleak future faced them, that it could change her to this extent. Still, the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. The older Janeway snapped into action.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Kathryn said, revitalized now, with the many months in the Void becoming a dim memory as she focussed on the present. "The variance was 1.47 microseconds," her jaw jutted. "Harry was blinded as a price for learning that information. He was able to get it to Seven so that we could create temporal shielding against the Krenim, to resist changes in the timeline, but…"

"He'd be relieved to know that it could save Kes' life," Chakotay said gently, knowing that guilt must be gnawing at her. They all had a soft spot for the naïve, optimistic ensign. Kathryn was able to meet his eyes and she smiled a little at his words.

"What's this about saving my life?" Kes' voice cut in.

The Doctor looked towards the door. "Ah, Kes, and Kes, just in time. We now have the temporal variance, thanks to- Kathryn."

Kes looked at the future Janeway in surprise. "_Kathryn_? As in-"

"Yes, I've met you. That was me that day," those words contained a significance that escaped the rest of those in the room, but Kes understood, or at least one of them did.

"Of course. It was you who wanted to help me then, even after-" Kes paused meaningfully. "You would be the one to help me now. It all comes full circle, doesn't it?"

Kathryn nodded, accepting that statement as it was meant, before saying decisively, "Nothing has been accomplished; you're not saved yet. Let's get to it, Doctor," she ordered, before looking at her younger self. "With your permission, of course, Captain."

"Granted," Janeway said smiling. "Doctor, what she said!"

Kes shivered slightly as she experienced a sense of déjà vu while she was preparing to be purged. The Doctor was just inputting the information that Kathryn had volunteered.

"Kes? You're not feeling cold?" Janeway asked her concerned. Kes had told them of the minor symptoms before she experienced a temporal step backwards.

"No, just nerves."

Kathryn briefly touched her shoulder. "This will work."

In the modified bio-temporal chamber, Kes nodded, drawing comfort from the women who had been her Captain. Eyes widened in anticipation as the Doctor caught her eye, signalling it was about to begin.

"Captain, Kathryn, you need to clear the chamber."

As they obeyed, a forcefield went up to protect the others from any harmful emissions. All present tensed as the procedure began. The hologram crossed the barrier without difficulty, hologram that he was, and began the task of co-ordinating different programs, trying to determine if it was taking effect and keeping an eye on Kes' vital signs. It would be horribly ironic if they were to lose her now to another time when she was so close-

Dread clamped around his proverbial heart.

"Kes, your temperature is dropping," he said in a reasonably steady voice. "I'm trying to compensate-"

"I'm not a piece of machinery, Doctor," Kes said chidingly, and the hologram smiled briefly, but a strained mask covered his face and he began muttering figures under his simulated breath.

"It's not working… your temperature had decreased by 2- 2.5…Kes!"

In front of their horrified gazes, Kes disappeared from sight.

_-End Pt 3-_


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.

**Twisting Canon- Part Four **

Odd flashes of memory assailed Kes as once more the universe crashed and reformed in infinite patterns of random beauty and treachery. Tuvix faced her, pleading for his life, begging her to sway the Captain's mind and stay his execution, but she shook her head mutely, shutting her eyes, yet she couldn't escape the agonized rasps as she inadvertently boiled Tuvok's blood, resulting in a thirty-seven degree rise in his blood temperature and putting him in shock. The Doctor looked at her aghast, and his expression changed as in a murderous rage, he leapt to subdue an oblivious target, hunching over the motionless body, and a desperate mask slipped down over the Commander's face as he knelt over the Captain, working to revive her but she wouldn't respond, only she was upright, her eyes unblinking as she struggled to remain awake, for Kes' sake…

Now a gun was held to her head and then the Captain lay unconscious on a sofa in the holodeck, with Kes and the Doctor kept an anxious vigil over her, but Kes felt panic rising within her, a burning need sweeping through her body- _the elogium_- and the ship shuddered around her as the Doctor questioned his status as a hologram, giving in to the illusion of flesh and blood as Dr Zimmerman, human…a Klingon loomed before her, and Kes recognized B'Elanna- and B'Elanna, as the human version of their Chief Engineer worked frantically at a console, trying to win their freedom from- a Romulan! Standing on the transporter pad, looking around in amazement as he realized _Voyager_ really was in the Delta Quadrant, and then she was knocked to the ground – _Maje Jabin_- and she suppressed a cry of pain, determined not to show weakness, regretting ever having left her home-

Her father smiled at her as he taught her how to identify different plants and flowers in the garden he lovingly tended to, passing on his passion for gardening to her and she asked innocently what life would be like above, on the surface, prompting a troubled look and an admonition that while curiosity encouraged a mind to grow, not all things were meant to be questioned or to be discovered…one of the elders now preached to a young Kes and she kept an attentive expression on her face while dreaming of exploring the unknown, having adventures and her mother's groans sounded loudly in the birthing room as she grasped a bar above her head and groaned again while the doctor and her husband urged her on…

Her universe shrunk, narrowed to a dim focal point and darkness surrounded her- consciousness and self-identity faded, leaving her as a nonentity, and then there was nothing.

Something stirred, a distant beat began, and a mind developed as new life grew. Connections were formed in the brain, and unformed thoughts began, incoherent, disjointed- _warmth, contentedness… protected_- how? Thoughts were difficult, concentration a difficult task, but that question lingered, dominated. How was this possible? What had happened, was she-? A wail made her scrunch up her face in dissatisfaction, and then she realized it was coming from her mouth. Hastily silencing herself, she opened her eyes to stare at two delighted figures that cooed at their precocious daughter- Kes.

And with that pronouncement, everything at once reversed, or rather, occurred the right way around now, forward instead of backward, but it was too much for her and Kes dropped out of the overwhelming race of memory, losing consciousness with relief now knowing that she must have been saved in time-

In _time_. She laughed…

"It's working," the Doctor exclaimed ecstatically.

Kes laughed behind him. She continued laughing even as the Doctor and the two Janeways looked concerned at her.

"Kes?"

"What happens now?" she managed to ask them in a rather choked tone. "What- happens, to her, to _you_?" Her eyes widened and the laughing fit verging on hysteria stopped abruptly. Now she was affected by the dizzying sensations her counterpart had surely felt as different scenes, people, _times _passed through her mind, and she gripped her head, unable to grip the chaos that churned madly.

The younger Janeway gasped and clutched her head as well, experiencing similar difficulties and fighting to keep her balance. She lost the battle, with Chakotay lunging to catch her falling body just in time to prevent her ending up an undignified huddle on the floor.

"Doctor?" the elder Janeway was also feeling rather odd, but it was rather to do with the way she kept flashing in and out of Sickbay. Her brow furrowed in thought and she sighed. Temporal mechanics. Or at least, she supposed that was the cause. She followed that thought to its logical conclusion and quickly looked at Kes' older counterpart and raised an eyebrow. "What's happening to me?" she thought she already knew the answer.

"What's happening to _her_," the hologram said tightly, gesturing to Kes' reappeared counterpart in answer, whose figure was similarly phasing in and out of view. "Her body has gone into cellular flux and is destabilizing at the subatomic level. Educated guess? I'd say the same thing is occurring in you as well. There's nothing I can do," he reported, after crossing through the field and scanning her. "I wish I understood this."

"Our molecular structures are losing cohesion?" Janeway asked, wanting corroboration, ever the scientist.

"Kathryn!"

A shout reminded the Doctor of the current Janeway's predicament. The hologram really was not impressed with the day's events, not enjoying continually being left behind in comprehension. By rote, he scanned the Captain, just to reassure the Commander, and as an exercise in redundancy scanned Kes as well. He supposed someone would find the data interesting.

"The Captain's perfectly fine," he looked over at the Commander, who did not appear at all convinced.

"She's _unconscious_," retorted Chakotay. "Where does that appear in the definition of the word, Doctor?"

"You're right. I'm a Doctor, not a scientist," the hologram returned. "Temporal mechanics are not included in my program. It could be worse, she could be facing oblivion."

The other Janeway grimaced. "That makes me feel better about my fate."

"What happens now?" Chakotay asked uneasily watching the flickering and comatose figures around him.

The Doctor answered sarcastically, "I suppose a blinding white light envelopes us all and reality crashes down on us, like waves on the beach of time, each successive wave wiping out now invalid timelines and rewriting reality around us-" His image flickered, unsteady lines running through him and the Doctor disappeared from sight.

"Doctor?" Kes pulled herself up out of an unfamiliar design of chamber in Sickbay. "What am- Doctor? Computer-" before she could complete the sentence, the hologram had activated himself, complete with irate expression.

"What happened?" they both asked simultaneously. Other voices joined in the chorus; Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, the former still clasped closely in her First Officer's arms.

Kes looked at the two, then focussed on Janeway and her eyes opened wide as a sudden image of the Captain, older and harshly forbidding her to harm her crew, filling her in on the horrors they had been through since her- departure? A memory of power filling her, a terrible command of her mental powers, allowing her to hurl the Captain against the wall brutally, determined to destroy them all…

Janeway looked at the young Ocampa incredulously. The memories flooding her mind were too real, tinged with feelings that she could too well relate to as her own, were her own, _from the future-_

"Kes, it hasn't happened," she said firmly, an involuntary shiver transmitting itself to Chakotay's body, and he tightened his hold on her in a moment of nonverbal comfort.

"But what I did- what she did, _had_ done…before," Kes said, clearing her suddenly constricted throat. "What _I_ am capable of."

"Isn't _going_ to happen. Is that understood?" Janeway at last moved away from the refuge she found within Chakotay's grasp and took a few steps towards Kes before remembering the forcefield was still in place. After disabling it, she gripped the Ocampa's arms tightly. "It's different now, they changed it for us, and we don't have to end up that way."

"She was afraid she had bound me to her path," Kes shook her head in reminiscence. "I suppose, whatever happened to her, wherever she is, she's happy that isn't the case. I suppose- we're lucky, in a way, when you think about it."

Janeway raised an eyebrow, a smile appearing at Kes' indomitable optimism. "Oh?"

"Most people can only learn from their mistakes. We have the benefit of hindsight without making the mistake in the first place!" she tilted her head considering it carefully. "Actually, we did make the mistake, only that timeline has been erased and we have our future selves' memories of what happened to learn from- wait, why _do_ we have their memories?" Kes asked.

"I have no idea. And I'm perfectly content to leave it that way."

"Well, Captain, brava for you, but I would like an explanation," the Doctor interjected. "What has been happening around here?"

Her sadness at what had happened to her future self, or what had been her future self, was carefully filed away for further thought later on. Janeway began to think of how she might answer the Doctor's question when a small grin flitted over her face.

"Nothing stranger than usual, Doctor," the Captain said dismissively in answer. "Chakotay? I think we'd better check in at the bridge, take care of any ruffled feathers- Tuvok may be a little discomfited about the occurrences today…" putting her arm through her First Officer's, Janeway gently tugged him towards the door, leaving behind an irate hologram and amused Kes.

Stopping Janeway before they reached the turbolift, Chakotay asked her seriously, "What did happen?"

"What do you remember?"

He gave her an ironic look at the way she sidestepped his question. "Well, mostly, just entering the nebula, expecting the worst…just a normal day- and then, like a dream overlaying those experiences, I seem to remember another Kes, and another you," he shook his head uncomfortably. "It's confusing. I don't know how else to describe it."

"I have the same memories," Janeway said, giving thought to how she phrased herself. "But more complete. I remember this day through my own eyes, yet there is a duality to it, like an echo, thoughts that-" she grimaced, struggling to explain, "could be mine, but I know they're not. And there's also memories of future times…"

"So-what was it?"

Janeway shook her head, and gestured for him to precede her as the turbolift arrived. "Bridge," she called, and then continued, "I really don't know. And, as I said to Kes just before, I'm perfectly content to leave it that way. Second guessing the future is a sure way to drive yourself insane."

"Any predictions?" Chakotay asked her, grinning.

"Only that you'll invite me to dinner tonight," she answered drolly as they arrived at the bridge. "Don't fight it, Chakotay, it's preordained."

"All in your head, actually. But then again…until you learn to cook, or at least, get along with your replicator," he looked at her meaningfully, earning a swat on the arm, "I suppose I'll have to humour you. 1800?"

"That'll be me bringing the wine," Janeway smiled in agreement as she anticipated the evening dinner with pleasure. "1800."

_- The End -_


End file.
